Halloween as a Kid
1. THE CANDY!
With visions of Snickers, Milky Way, 3 Musketeers, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, M&Ms, and a veritable cornucopia of coma-inducing chocolates and other sweet treats guaranteed to bring on a temporary diabetic reaction from a gastronomic gluttony of a sugar overdose filling our wicked little minds, we fled our lair in the darkening twilight dressed in our homemade costumes to terrorize neighbors to whom we were supposed to be unfailingly polite and friendly the other 364 days out of the year.
This was OUR night! No adults allowed... well, except for the requisite chaperoning for the littlest witches, goblins, ghouls, vampires, werewolves, and other various frightful creature disguises intended to send our friends and neighbors into cardiac arrest due to the sheer terror our shocking wardrobes were sure to induce.
Don't try to be friendly or cute with compliments on our horrifying costumes and accessories; don't make small talk; don't act like you think you know us. You don't. We're creatures of the darkness, children of the night. Just shut up and give us buckets, bags, pillow cases, and plastic orange jack-o-lanterns full of CANDY!!!
Ah, sweet freedom! Your delectable taste was nearly as enticing, tantalizing, and titillating as the treasure trove of scrumptious sweetness we were sure to be lugging homeward and stuffing our guts with when our bags and buckets were finally crammed to the brim and overflowing. And with our most irresistible smiles, my brothers and I often cajoled our parents into letting us take a second trip!
One night out of the year only, we became the demons and devils and goblins that our costumes represented, the fierce creatures of the night that we imagined ourselves to be, free to scare the living daylights out of everyone we encountered with our master- ful disguises, free from that nagging compulsion to behave like goody two-shoes little boys and girls, free from that stifling parental restraint!
Let the frightmares commence, baby, it's HALLOWEEN!!!
We made our own costumes, Jack. Or rather, our mothers made our costumes (sometimes with a little help from enthusiastic fathers wanting to experience the frightful joy vicariously), with a bit of help from us in the encouragement and "No, do it like this!" departments.
We were each fully confident that our costume was the best, the wickedest, the most inventive, just the coolest damn thing ever... besides Halloween and all the candy we confiscated from neigh- bors that we generally managed to avoid the rest of the year, of course.
And we didn't need any pre-fab blockbuster movie's merchan- dising department or outrageously overpriced online costume stores to tell us who to be or how to dress for it. All we needed was our imaginations. We were the bomb dot com, baby!
Trick-or-Treating was its own form of magic, a time for our devious imaginations to let the monsters inside us loose, set them free. I hope that parents of my generation remember that excitement, and share it in any way that they can with the young Trick-or-Treaters of today.
We never heard of sick human predators hiding out in the bushes and culverts waiting to snatch little wandering ghouls and goblins - although we all know they were out there, even yesteryear.
Our children rely on us to look out for them, and protect them from evil. So woe be unto any predators who ever endanger our youth and cross MY path.
So bring on the Trick-or-Treaters! They're safe in MY neighborhood. I have a ginormous tray full of all the best candy for them... and I don't even need a costume to look scary when they come to my door, lol.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!